Man, what. a. year.
It's no surprise that 2020 has been a challenging year for everyone. With a global pandemic, protest for racial justice, a heated election, all during a time where the nation feels even more divided than ever, it's hard to believe everything happened all in a span of one year. I've said it multiple times, but this year has felt like three different years for me. The first two months felt like a different time period, then the start of lockdown, and now where we have adjusted to being in a "new normal" of COVID precautions.
This past year we've learned to adapt to a new way of living, got creative on how to celebrate milestones, and showed our loungewear more love than we ever have before. It was a year filled with anxiety, fear, and so much uncertainty. If you've been a reader for a while, you know that I do a year-in-review post every December where I reflect on the past year's highlights and milestones and share some favorite past blog posts as a way to wrap up the year. There was a point this year where I considered not even doing a year-in-review post because why would I want to reflect on a year that has caused me so much pain and loss? But, the more I thought about it, even though this year had a lot of lows that stood out, there were quite a few highs that I wanted to highlight as well.
In last year's recap post I wrote that 2018 was the year of new experiences and that 2019 was the year of change and growth. If I had to label 2020 I'd say it was the year of reflection and gratitude. So, here's a peek into my year.
JANUARY
I started 2020 off excited and hopeful. This was going to be my year. I had planned to travel at least once a month, finally branch out and make new friends in the city and step out of my comfort zone. I was so excited to see what this year had to hold.
I rang in 2020 at a small party at a friend's house. Like most people at the start of the year, I started on my fitness goals on a strong foot. I continued to go to my weekly classes at SweatMethod and was pretty consistent with running at my gym. My weekends consisted of going to date nights with Christian at Discovery Place, showing Christian's brother our favorite spots in the city, trying out new restaurants, and meeting up with blogger friends for lunch dates. I also had the opportunity to travel to Atlanta for a work trip which would have kicked off my first of many trips planned for the year. 2020 was off to such a great start.
APRIL
April was tough. We found out Christian had tested positive for COVID-19 and a few days later I became symptomatic as well. At the time my roommate/cousin had gone home to stay with her parents while I was in Peru for spring break and ended up staying there for the next month due to the lockdown. In a way, it worked out well since I had the apartment to myself to quarantine in and didn't put my cousin at risk for getting sick, but on the flip side, it was challenging.
I'd like to consider myself reasonably healthy. I'm young, active, and ate reasonably well, but still had a hard time with the virus. While I was sick, I tried my best to downplay my symptoms and how I felt to not make my parents worry more than they already did, but in reality, the virus was hard on my body. Every ounce of energy I had was drained, even walking five steps to my bathroom was a struggle. I had a fever for two weeks, felt nauseous, felt winded from simple tasks, and coughed so much to the point where I would cry because my abdomen hurt so much. And then there was the mental toll of being isolated alone.
It's hard to explain how I felt during those three weeks because outside looking in, it was only three weeks of being alone, but at the time it felt like an eternity. I spent days alone in my bed with just my thoughts and at that time I began to process the feelings and grief I had pushed aside while was away in Peru. During this time my anxiety was at an all-time high and it was the first time I really struggled with my mental health. Despite having Christian's family graciously dropping off food at my doorstep and having loved ones check in on me virtually, I never felt more alone. The best way I could describe it was I was in a dark bubble filled with every negative thought I had in my head and the bubble kept closing in on me gradually. I couldn't see out of it and was just consumed by these negative thoughts.
Then my fever broke.
I'm not sure if it was because I finally had some good news, but it was like a switch had turned on. The dark bubble I was in began to fade, I slowly started to get enough energy to make my own food, and my spirits began to lift. On my 25th birthday, I got cleared to come out of quarantine, and being able to walk around my apartment complex was the best gift I could ever ask for. I was so grateful.
OCTOBER
Then the election news was EVERYWHERE. I will admit, I never really cared or got too involved in politics in the past. This was actually the first election that I ever voted in. It may be a mix of us being in quarantine for so long that the news of the election was the only thing that had us occupied, or the fact that there were so many policies on the line, or possibly a combination of both, that I began to get involved in the politics for the next month. Tunning into election news and reading up on policies began to be a part of my everyday routine. I wanted to be as informed as possible.
In October I also had the opportunity to travel for the first time since March.
At this point, I hadn't seen my parents since February when I made a trip home for a memorial service. I've grown very close to my parents in the past two years and have always been able to see them at least once a month. This had been the longest I've gone without seeing them and it was really hard on me. After 7 months of being in quarantine, Christian, my brother, and I made the decision that the risk of seeing them was low enough. My brother lives alone and the three of us have been working from home since March. On top of that, none of us have seen our friends or have gone out since the lockdown. To take it one step further, we made sure two weeks prior to not risk exposing ourselves by not going to the grocery store or any outings beforehand.
With all those precautions in place, we made a weekend trip to see my parents. It was long overdue and the recharge I didn't know I needed.
NOVEMBER
November we celebrated having the first female vice president in the White House.
For Thanksgiving, my brother and I made the decision to spend the weekend with our parents and then ultimately decided that would be the last visit we'd make for the rest of the year as it kept getting riskier and riskier as cases began to rise and with me starting to go back in the office for work. The week was spent consuming so much food and quality family time. It was moments like this I had taken for granted every time I had visited before and was glad I got to spend one of my favorite holidays with them.
DECEMBER
December was a complete blur. Seriously, where did the month go?
Pre COVID times I was always so rushed with balancing work, trying to find the perfect gift, and fitting in times to enjoy the holiday festivities that I always wished that I had more time to enjoy the holiday season. Now that the world seemed to be put on pause and we have more time than we know what to do with on our hands, I felt like I was even out of the holiday spirit even more than when I had a jammed pack schedule.
This was the first Christmas I had spent without my parents. It was strange. I still feel like I'm waiting for Christmas to come since I haven't seen them yet. Even though the holidays felt a little off this year, I'm thankful I was able to spend it with my quarantine crew.
- I can no longer use the "I don't have enough time" excuse. I could have all the time in the world, but it doesn't matter unless I actually do something with it. If something matters you will make time for it.
- A change in perspective is EVERYTHING. Take a step back, zoom out, walk away for a minute. The world may feel like it's crashing down all at once but once you take a moment to look from the outside in, it isn't as bad as it seems.
- Reason, season, or a lifetime. Those who are meant to be in your life will find a way to be a part of it.
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